Oh Gnomeo, Oh Juliet

Gnomeo & Juliet

Gnomeo & Juliet is a CG-animated send-up of the William Shakespeare tale of star-crossed lovers that’s set in the world of … plaster garden gnomes. And it’s chock full of songs by Elton John, who also executive produced the film. Bear with me. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

Set in Shakespeare’s birthplace of Stratford-Upon-Avon, this 3D film directed by Shrek 2’s Kelly Asbury follows feuding neighbors Mr. Capulet (voiced by Richard Wilson) and Miss Montague (voiced by Julie Walters), whose rivalry has even extended to their respective garden gnomes (with one set colored red and the other blue). But can a forbidden romance between a Red (Juliet, voiced by Emily Blunt) and a Blue (Gnomeo, voice of James McAvoy) bring the two sides together and end the feud (as well as rewrite the grim end of Shakespeare’s original)?

The voice cast also includes Michael Caine as Juliet’s father Lord Redbrick, Jason Statham as Gnomeo’s nemesis Tybalt, Maggie Smith as Lady Bluebury, Patrick Stewart as Bill Shakespeare,Ashley Jensen as Juliet’s confidante Nanette, Stephen Merchant as Paris, Matt Lucas as Gnomeo’s pal Benny, and Jim Cummings as the plastic pink flamingo Featherstone.

Like most people, I didn’t think much at all when they first heard of Gnomeo & Juliet. But it turns out it’s less like Hoodwinked! and more like this year’s Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, another toon with low expectations that turned out to be a pleasant surprise. It could become the next Shrek-size franchise (and with the potential of increasingly charmless sequels); of course, unless it finds an audience it will be the new Igor.

Gnomeo & Juliet has surprisingly racy undertones for a G-rated movie (the gnome hats are obvious fodder), which means there’s plenty of subtext here for adults to enjoy even as the kids are amused by what’s on the surface. There’s also the bevy of classic Elton John tunes that have been reworked for the film, which adults will know and kids will likely discover here (perhaps they only know him as the guy who sang songs for 1990s Disney cartoons). Overall, this is pretty much Kitsch: The Motion Picture.

The goofy and whimsical Gnomeo & Juliet may have a thin premise to it, but so did a certain animated movie about toys that come to life. (No, not Small Soldiers.) While the gimmick of sending up Shakespeare may be lost on kids — who will enjoy the movie’s colorful palette, silly characters and overall cuteness — older and more literate viewers will appreciate the satirical bits peppered throughout the film.

I GIVE IT!

I give it 10 Nome’s out of 10 because they pay so much attention to detail and most movies today don’t! they kept in mind Nome’s their “GLASS” and when ever Gnomeo or Juilet touched or one of the Nome’s put their hand on their hip or something they would have the glass clicking nose in and that showed they kept the small detail they didn’t have to add but did and I love movies that pay attention to that, because when glass touch glass they make a clinking sound and also they make this movie for all ages and over all 10! So go watch this movie and tell me your thoughts and opinions!

BIG MOMMAS REVIEW

“…kind of a drag when it resorts to frantic slapstick and tired action-comedy tropes, but modestly engaging during stretches that suggest the project would have worked better as an exuberant musical.”

— Joe Leydon, Variety

“…won’t likely disappoint fans of men-in-drag comedy but doesn’t offer much that’s original or funny.”

— Kirk Honeycutt, Hollywood Reporter

“…a sad excuse for a cross-dressing sequel.”

— Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel

“Thanks a bunch, Tyler Perry. Your antics in old-lady dress-up have inspired Martin Lawrence to literally drag his worst franchise out of the closet and back onto the big screen, cheaper and more lazily than ever.”

— Luke Y. Thompson, E! Online

“It’s a true rubber-necker’s delight, a comedy so inconceivably tacky that it will make you question whether or not you’re laughing at the film or with it.”

— Simon Abrams, Slant Magazine

LOOK BACK…

Not that the two don’t have their issues (besides the whole tranny thing, that is). Malcolm proudly dreams of sending his kid off to college at Duke, but Trent defiantly pushes his own plan to hit the concert circuit as a rapper. Without Trent’s mom around to mediate — Nia Long has been written out here, for anyone keeping track — the spat spills over into Malcolm’s workday. When Trent foolishly lands himself square in the sights of a Russian baddie (Tony Curran) that Malcolm is after, dad and son are forced into hiding.

The pair are MacGuffined off to a girls’ high school for the arts, where Malcolm’s Big Momma alter ego conveniently fills a dorm mother vacancy, and Trent’s kneesocks-sporting “Charmaine’’ salivates at the pajama-party prospects. Then Trent falls for good-girl hottie Haley (Jessica Lucas, “Melrose Place’’), blows his cover, and sets the gangsters back on his trail. All of which is beside the point, of course — we’re here to see Big Momma get roped into modeling for a life drawing class, one of the few gags that sort of works here.

REVIEW…

Let’s just start by saying DANG! this movie is being hated on! Maybe a cross dressing movie was not a good idea right now with the way things are going in the public about tyranny’s and ect!

But my Over all opinion is it was good but when you look back at the last “TWO” “Big Mommas” this one falls short of the stick and was not as good both comedy/entertainment wise. So I have to say one and two won it but three lost it maybe it was because they were trying way to hard to be funny or the plot just wasn’t their who knows, Comedy wise I laughed about three scenes at the most they were “Ball Grab” In mall “Naked Momma” In Art room and then “Bali” Dancing studio something, But three scenes just don’t cut it to people these day’s.

So overall okay movie not no Grammy or anything but a GOOD TRY award but do give mad props for trying to make use laugh “Big Momma” but you feel short this time and I’ll give you.

 

5 1/2 OUT OF 10

 

5 1/2 BIG MOMMAS OUT OF 10

Tron Legacy 2 In The Question!

Image via Wikipedia

Disney‘s Tron: Legacy is about to pass the $300 million worldwide mark, which has the studio close to moving forward with an Untitled Tron Legacy Sequelannouncement.

It is said that Disney is “incredibly close to having its sequel announced,” although it isn’t said when such an announcement will occur. We reported in November that Disney was planning an animated TV series entitled Tron: Uprising, which will debut on the Disney XD channel in 2012. It was also reported last month that the series will take place right after Clu takes over the grid. A separate 10-part Tron micro-series is also set to debut this fall on Disney XD.

No story details for this Untitled Tron Legacy Sequel have been revealed. It also isn’t clear if directorJoseph Kosinski will return to direct.

Tron: Legacy was released December 17th, 2010 and stars Jeff Bridges, Garrett Hedlund, Olivia Wilde,Bruce Boxleitner, James Frain, Beau Garrett, Michael Sheen, Anis Cheurfa. The film is directed byJoseph Kosinski.

Untitled Tron Legacy Sequel is in development . But remember how the movie ended so maybe we will see “Tron 2” now for the animated series they can keep it, It will probably be lame because they will have to live up to the movie and that will be hard it’s like a remake of movies their lame but what is your opinion leave it below and we here at TheOfficailTyler will see you next time!

Never Say Never Should Be Never Say Broke!

So Never Say Never did not do to well in it’s opening week being in the box office and “Unknown” was the winner this week over! “I am number four” and “Big momma” Taking it home. And Sanctum fell dead last with $1mill so are you happy with these results if not what would you rate 1-12?

 

How To Get In Her Pants On V-day!

This is the guide to get in your partners pants and get romantic with one another if you know what I mean 😉

RULE (1)

Buy Roses NOT 1,2,3,4 or 5 especially if you want to get in her pant’s! AND NO FAKE’S! All you will get is a Kick to the B**** and the couch will be calling you! Get a DOZEN because that will show her you love her and you don’t care if you go broke because of her. And send them to her work so she knows your not embarrassed to claim her in public because every girl likes to flaunt what they got and plus it will keep her in a GOOD mood all day because you sure don’t want a P***** off wife or GF then you will so not get the JACKPOT! And make sure it’s RED, WHITE, AND PINK!

Red Rose: This one is the most obvious. It means “I love you.” It represents romance and love.

Regular Pink: A pink rose represents happiness. It’s great to give a pink rose to a partner to say, “I’m very happy with our relationship.”

White Rose: A white rose symbolizes innocence and purity. When combined with red roses (see further down), it represents “unity”.

A mixture of these will let her know just how special she is to you and that will warm her up to lowering those panties.

So far you got

10Points

RULE (2)

CANDY!

YES! Candy is the way to go! Every girl loves her candy so why not what will hurt and be sure to send them along with the roses to make her day even better but DON’T buy the lame candy for a $1 buy her some truffles or something else that is not cheap! and hey why not send a card along with this  and include a heart but we will get into the hearts lil later but do this and your point will rack up to 20 so now you have…

5POINTS

RULE (3)

HEART ATTACK!

This is were things get fun and sexy the night before cut out small hearts and be sure to make a bunch and on each one you make write something special about her or something you want to say to her or just do both and hide then all around the house her car purse any were’s you can think she will find one. EX: tape one on the bathroom mirror, then one on her car steering wheel, one on her phone, and be sure to when she has dinner sit one in her seat and under her plate so when YOU pick it up their it is and make sure that’s the last one and make it more special! and thats why I call this the heart attack I MEAN SO MANY HEARTS IT crazy but cute and she will love it!

And will get

7POINTS

RULE(4)

PLAIN A SPECIAL DINNER!

Now this is a YES when you plain a V-day dinner you want a romantic feel to it and very sexy were she would date the table and dump you.  Have candles, flowers, and some table decor and some things that are wrong in this pic you want to be across from one another! and more table decor and candles! Candles wont hurt at all because you want to turn the lights of play some soft music and eat and this is gonna be a little dark. NOW THE WRONG WAY!

Yes this is very Romantic and I like this one way better but over all their are ton’s of mistakes!

1) NEVER PUT THE FOOD ON THE TABLE it’s crappy and you should make her dinner and serve her! not herself! FOOD OFF TABLE!

2)Not enough Candles their is only 1 and 1 is not enough throw some more on the table!

3)No center peace their is only a chocolate fondant as a center peace but not for a moment like this! TAKE IT OFF! Put some roses in the center but NOT so many were you can’t look into her eyes and talk to one another I recommend Roses about 5 or 6INCH’s tall and two tall candles on the side.

4)No flowers  all I’m saying put them their!

5) PAPER PLATES ARE YOU KIDDING if your trying to impress her PAPER PLATES NOT THE WAY to go get the china get the glass not paper!

6) Table Decor it’s alright but you can buy fake roses and lay on the table with the plastic heart’s and it would be perfect and another the plate mates do away they are 😛 and don’t look right with the setting!

So follow these rules and you will have a romantic night! This will get you….

40 points if YOU cook!

 

RULE (5)

FOOD! This is were things get hard you need to know what to fix and what not to fix but be sure you fix her favorite and NO PIZZA OR TACO BELL something romantic! and make sure you have a dessert to go with after the dinner! Chocolate strawberries a cake or anything else you like that sounds romantic and if you have to order the food if you can’t cook be sure and to LIE BUT DON’T LIE. I mean say you tried to cook but didn’t work out so you order so that way she knows you at least tried your best and she will be thankful you tried! and throw some dishes in the sink if you need to! but TRY! before you order!

This will earn you….

12 POINTS

RULE (6)

JEWELRY/GIFTS! These are a girls FAVORITE THINGS!

Best time to give her the gifts is right after Desert and give her JEWELERY for one that is a ++++++ in her book and will get you closer to the bed! and throw in a teddy bear because every girl loves a teddy bear and if you ever have to go away a night she will have that teddy to remember you can remember that special night and may just get you lucky when you come back 😉 But another thing to make her heart melt is to make her a scrapbook of pictures of yalls favorite memories may be gurly to you but will say that your sweet and sensitive and will get you closer to a special night!

POINTS!

15

 

RULE (7)

YOUR TIME!

After Dinner be sure to give her your time go lay in the bed cuddle and watch a movie maybe “TITANIC” it’s a romantic movie and she has done seen it thousands of time she would be more willing to talk and be romantic with you so don’t get a movie shes been dying to see because she will ignore you and be focused on the movie and not on you and their that goes. And it also means if she stays up to late their goes your chance of being laid because she will be to tired. So pick a movie thats romantic to end the day and something she has seen that wont keep you from scoring!

POINT’S WORTH ON GIVING HER YOUR TIME!

10 POINTS

TOTAL:100!

SUCCESS

You have been laid!

Remember flow these rules and you get what you wanted and you can even do this on a random day doesn’t have to be on V-Day! just change the setting and theme!

Lil Kim Kills Nicki Minaj!! And Drinks Her BLOOD!

The Fight Continues….

So it seems the fight is still going on between Nicki and Kim but has it gone to far with Lil Kim‘s new album cover for Black Friday? The image below is the cover for her new album and not to many parents and fans are to happy about this one from Lil Kim.

The background shows Nicki Minaj in the background with her head cut off by Kim and blood every were’s the pink thing on the left is Nicki’s head! and Kim has a sword and blood bursting out behind her and to the bottom right it say’s “Parental Advisory” so this say’s KIDS NOT A ALBUM YOU WANT!  But I feel Kim went to far and this woman needs to be locked up if I was Nicki I would be filling some lawsuits!

My over all opinion both are childish and both need to suck it up before they end their career but one thing I have to say if your going to fight DON’T make song’s going back and forth with each other! Just walk up to one another and have a singing battle and LEAVE the fans out of yalls drama we do not care.

But below are the two songs that got these two really fired up and going so enjoy and leave your thoughts and opinions below!

Leaving

Headed out for a week so no blog post btw!