True Blood Recap! Vampires Versus Witches

Even though all you fangbangers debated the yumminess scale of Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) and Sookie’s (Anna Paquin) swamp sex, we were mighty pleased with their virginesque act of passion.

Sadly their fantasy of being together isn’t gonna last long tho, ‘cause there’s a 400-year-old crazy lady out for the bloodsuckers blood.

So what happened in witch-filled Bon Temps post-romp?

Basically Marnie‘s (Fiona Shaw) inhabited by that Spaniard, Antonia, who forced vamps to the sun a long, long time ago, so His Majesty orders all vamps to either leave the state or cover their-self in silver chains, bondage style.

What we don’t get is why all the vamps chose the silver chains option. Torture? We would’ve used our vamp skills and ran AWAY!

As True Blood dawdled along with super slow-mo time, Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) managed to escape her silver chains and worry us all. BTW, that’s another reason the vamps should’ve heade North, East, South, Or even West. Those chains don’t even work right. But you do gotta admit I’m glad! Pam stayed haha the blond chick kill’s me jumping on the coffin and haha!!!!

So yeah, our fave redhead is possibly dead. Cliffhanger, maybe? But we doubt she’ll die because Jason’s (Ryan Kwanten) coming to save Jess (‘cause he looves her), so that should help y’all worried nights for the next week.

And Sookie is Team Vampires (duh) so be on the lookout for a BFF showdown. Marnie/Antonia totes capitalized on Tara’s (Rutina Wesley) “poor me” thang and now she’s off making anti-vamp spells with the worst of ‘em. Puh-leeze Tara, it’s all about Team Vampires. We get that the girl’s been through a lot and everything.

So who do you side with: Team Witch or Team Vamp?

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